


The Misgivings of the Season

by MartiniPhilosopher



Category: Better Off Ted
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 09:04:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2807057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MartiniPhilosopher/pseuds/MartiniPhilosopher





	The Misgivings of the Season

**Author's Note:**

  * For [angelgazing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelgazing/gifts).



Veronica never knocks on my office door. She lets herself in. I tried asking her once to knock and she gave me that look. You’ve seen it, the one that tells you what your place is in her world. It is part sarcasm, part contempt, and a few other things I can’t say in the office.

“Ted?” Veronica begins. “There is a little situation in your lab.”

I stand up from my desk and look at her.

“Is it the usual sort of situation or something drastic?” I ask.

She stands with her hands on her hips with something of a glare instead of a gaze coming back at me. I guess my sarcasm was not appreciated.

“With those two questionable things you call Phil and Lem at work there, I’m surprised you can get anything else done during the day.”

“I get it, you don’t like them. But they’ve saved us and the company more times than I can count.”

“Yes, often from their own work. Which might be the case once again.”

“Out with it, Veronica. What did they do this time?”

She sighs and turns around, exiting my office. I have to jog a little to catch up. She picks up our conversation when I’m a step behind her.

“It’s what they’re not doing,” she says.

“Phil and Lem are the two most meticulous techs we have. They follow every rule that Veridian sets down. To the absolute letter. And then they’ve made up extra rules to follow just because they don’t feel like the company's rules are good enough.”

At this point, we’ve managed to power stride through most of the floor and we’re standing in front of the elevator bank. She stops and turns around to stare at me with that look. The one that tells everyone they don’t understand what she’s talking about.

“Exactly. They’ve stepped over the line this time. Their rules are starting to interfere with the ones that the company has. And it might cost me something if you don’t put a stop to it, Ted.”

“Veronica. I can’t put a stop to something I don’t know is going on,” I say as I lean forward and press the call button.

Arms folded over her chest means I’m not about to get an answer out of her. There’s something else going on. Something that I’m likely going to back Phil and Lem on and she knows it. Having worked with her for several years now, I’ve gotten to know her tells. I’m certain that she’s been able to spot and catalog all of mine.

The elevator dings and she proceeds to stride inside without another word or waiting for anyone to get off. Several people, including Linda jump back as Veronica takes up position in the center.

“Well, are you coming or not, Ted?” Veronica asks.

The others stand there, gazelle-like and staring at me. Linda sighs and tries to take a few steps out but is stopped by Veronica.

“Oh no, little missy. You’re coming along, too. If I’ve learned anything, Phil and Lem will listen to you just as much as they do Ted. So guess what? You’ve been drafted,” she says.

With the lioness distracted, the other gazelle take the opportunity to leave. All at once. Which lets me take one long side step into the elevator.

“Good of you to join us,” Linda says.

“Are you going to tell me what they’ve done?” I ask.

Veronica reaches out and presses the button for the lab floor. She turns and faces the doors, ignoring my question and everything else in the elevator along with it. Linda looks at me and I shrug my shoulders. She sighs and turns to face the front as the floors ding by.

After a minute, the elevator stops and gives one final ding. The doors open revealing several security personnel. They nod to Veronica as the three of us exit.

“Are they completely necessary?” Linda asks.

Veronica’s response is the click of her heels as she proceeds down the hallway. Linda turns to give me the same look from before. I give her the same shrug, put my hands in my pockets and let my heels click down the hallway as well. There is an exasperated sigh from behind before the slap of her soles join the chorus.

Phil and Lem are conscientious about their work, about the dangerous parts of it, and of the fact that they don’t want anyone hurt because of what goes on here. Outside of here is a different story. I try to keep the military side of Veridian out of here as much as possible. The pumpkins? Well, that was something that got away from all of us.

That’s what my gut is telling me is going on. Something dangerous. Leaving Phil and Lem in a moral quandary about what to do. With Veridian or Veronica pushing them into a dangerous situation, they’re rebelling in their own way. They don’t see it like that of course. They see it as part of their job. Which is why Veronica is here and dragging me along.

We stop in front of their lab. The doors aren’t opening and more security is standing by. These guys have guns. Veronica is standing there waiting for Linda and me to catch up.

“Now I know those aren’t necessary,” Linda says as she sees the security guards.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Veronica says.

She nods to the first guard who turns around and opens the doors for the three of us to pass through. Veronica leads us into the lab where Phil, Lem, and several other members of their staff are sitting at their stations. Phil glances up as we walk in and gives me a sour look. More than his usual sour. Lem finishes something before the both of them walk over to where Veronica has halted.

“We demand to know what’s going on,” Lem says.

“Yeah. We can’t leave and no one is telling us what’s going on. If I don’t make it home tonight my wife might have me declared dead,” Phil whines.

“Gentlemen, you know why you’re still here. Until you take care of the problem, I’m having to keep the lab on lockdown,” Veronica says.

Phil and Lem look at one another, confused.

“Wait...are you saying that because…” Phil starts.

“We won’t dispose of the holiday project you’re going to imprison us?” Lem finishes.

Veronica puts her hands behind her back and begins walking around the two of them in a tight circle. Each clack of her heel causes Phil to jump a little bit. By the time she gets back to where she started I’m certain some of Phil’s hairs has bleached itself white.

“Why couldn't you have said that in the elevator?” I ask.

It’s my turn for the icy stare of Veronica to lash out at me. It doesn’t last that long. My charm is a natural defense against it.

“It was a secret project,” she says.

Linda walks over to where Phil and lem are still standing. She smiles which always seems to calm them down. Especially Phil.

“What did you guys make this time?” Linda whispers.

“It’s over in the office,” Lem says.

I watch the three of them sneak away to the office out of the corner of my eye.

“Look,” I start. “How many times is this going to happen? You can’t go around me and give them projects. You know what happens. And how long were you going to keep the project a secret anyways? Was I ever going to know what my team was working on?”

Veronica gives me that sigh and dismissive wave she gives whenever backed into a corner. She turns around and walks a few steps away to gather herself for the next round of argument. I take the chance and glance over to the office. Phil and Lem are nodding at a shocked Linda. Whatever they came up with, it’s good.

“Alright. Fine. You’re right. You shouldn’t have been cut out of the loop. But that wasn’t my call,” Veronica says, turning back around.

My eyes immediately leave the office and lock onto her’s. That doesn’t stop Linda from running towards us, Phil and Lem calling after her as she crosses the room.

“This!” Linda shouts. “This is what they did!”

I turn to look and see this teddy bear like thing in her arms. But it’s not a teddy bear.

“Is that?” I sask.

Veronica sighs again.

“Yes.”

“Veridian asked them to create?”

“Yes.”

“A living teddy bear!” Linda shouts, holding it out for me to see.

_Veridian Dynamics -- Bringing good things into your life, one genetically engineered organism at a time. Customized life. Customized for you. And for you. And for you. Everything you could ever want in a pet, plant, or pal. Just make sure to water them everyday so they don’t start getting brown around the edges._

The guards dismissed, the floor unlocked, and with everyone sent home for the day, I stare into the cage sitting on my office floor. Veronica has laid herself across my sofa and has closed her eyes. The oddly shaped animal coos to itself softly before turning over and cooing again. The city has started to glow outside my window. At some point I’m going to have to talk to Rose but before then Veronica and I have some things to figure out.

“I really don’t know what else to tell you. I support their decision on this one,” I say.

Veronica eyes pop open with the same sort of flash normally kept for supernatural creatures. Nothing else on her face or body seems to move. Just her eyelids.

“I heard you the first two times,” she replies.

“It’s not like we could release it into the wild.”

“Why not? Let nature take its course.”

Her legs swing over and she sits up on the sofa. One of her hands goes into the nut jar sitting on the table. She flicks a few cashews into her mouth before slinging one at the living teddy bear, hitting it in the ear.

It snorts, waking up and begins sniffing around the cage. After a moment it finds the stray nut.

“That would be as cruel as your other suggestion,” I say.

“At least that would be a natural death,” she says with finger-quotes around the word natural.

I shake my head at her. She responds by pouting and eating a few more cashews.

“We shouldn’t be talking about...eliminating it,” I say.

“Why not? It’s what we do with all of the other failed projects. I mean, after we dissect them, freeze parts of their remains, and file away the paperwork in several unmarked and untraceable warehouses on the edge of the city.”

“What?”

“Forget I said that last part.”

My eyes grow wide at that.

“You don’t want the company to know that you know. The amount of paperwork you’ll have to do will make what you did to get your identity back into the system seem heavenly.”

I arch an eyebrow before shaking my head and getting up from the desk. I look down to see the teddy bear looking back up at me. My fingers flip the latches open and then the lid. The teddy bear stretches it’s arms up, displaying the dull but functional stubby claws on the end of each limb. It coos as it waits for me to bend over to pick it up.

“This is why I’m against the euthanizing it,” I say.

After picking it up and putting it in the crook of my arm, I start humming a few notes of a totally free, non-commercial holiday song. Without any further prompting the teddy bear picks up the tune and starts singing all of the words in a perfect singing voice.

“That was because Bob is still stuck in the ‘80s and always wanted one of those singing robot bear things. That shouldn't qualify our product for some sort of special status,” Veronica says.

I put it down after the song and give it a couple of nuts from the jar. It nibbles on them before laying down and cooing once more.

“Yes it does. That ability means that Phil and Lem did something to it. And tomorrow, I intend on finding out what that was.”

Veronica gets up and grabs her jacket from the chair. She slips it on with a single motion.

“Fine. But there needs to be some sort of plan by the end of the week.”

“Or what? I thought you said this was a secret project.”

“It is. But that doesn't mean that there aren’t others who know about it. The project was cancelled.”

“Because selling these would be a nightmare?”

“No. Because we couldn't diversify the product line. Christmas was a good start but what about Valentine’s day? Or Saint Patrick’s day? And where would we go from there? It’s not like Veridian could start inventing calendar holidays for profit...or could we?”

She gets that momentary wistful look and when she doesn’t snap herself out of it, I put a hand on her shoulder.

“No. The company doesn’t need to start doing that,” I say.

Veronica smiles and puts her hand on mine.

“You’re right. That might start something with of our competition.”

“Yes. Anyways, I’ll take care of it tonight.”

“You mean, you’re taking it home?”

“No. I’m going to go home for a bit and then come back.”

“Good. I was worried you were going to try and sneak it out. I mean, that’d be silly. Not to mention very difficult.”

It was hard not to stare at her blankly.

“And why is that?”

“Because it has like a dozen trackers inside it.”

Veronica turns and leaves my office, closing the door behind her. I stare down at the sleeping creature wondering what the next move really is. Besides which, Rose needs a few minutes with her dad and whatever answers I was going to get are only going to happen in the morning.

“Trackers. I should have known,” I say to the closed door.

The creature coos softly again. I can’t understand what the company was thinking when it ordered the lab to make it. We’ve tried pets before and it didn’t work out. Since Veronica won’t produce the original orders I can’t figure out where or if Phil and Lem went wrong.

If.

What if Veronica isn’t telling me the whole story?

Now there's a scary thought. This whole time, Veronica hasn’t been telling me the whole story.

That’s where my thoughts end as my phone rings. I look down to see Rose’s smiling face staring back at me. I need to get going.

As I exit my office, leaving the lights on, I answer her call.

“How’s it going honey? I’m sorry but I’m just leaving.”

_Veridian Dynamics -- Gifts? Who needs gifts? Why, you do! And we have them. All over the place. Just look here. See that? That could be a gift. One your friends and/or family couldn’t have seen coming. Because it’s accelerating at them very quickly. So have them duck, save their life, and isn’t that the best gift of all? The gift of life? So make sure to think of Veridian Dynamics during this holiday season._

I’m more ready the next morning when Veronica sneaks into my office.

“Ahem,” I say.

She stops, stock still and staring ahead for a moment before turning around to look in our direction.

“Were the three of you standing there the entire time?” she asks, smoothing the wrinkles out of her skirt.

I take a step forward. She stands her ground.

“You’re a bit close, Ted.”

“I know.”

She frowns and takes a step back. I clear my throat.

“Yes. We were standing there, talking about this project. I asked Phil and Lem to come in early.”

Veronica swallows hard.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” she says. “I am prepared to give you all of the paperwork so you can sort things out.”

“Well, I’m not sure I need it at this point. Besides, I think that we do this right, we can finally put Jabberwocky to bed.”

I turn around and grab a coffee from the shelf behind the three of us.

“Thanks guys. I think Veronica and I need to work out a few details before you do your part.”

“Sure thing, Ted,” Lem says.

Phil nods and the two of them leave my office.

After they’ve gone, Veronica sits on the couch and sighs. I hand her the coffee and take a seat next to her.

“I’ve got to admit. When you work the system, you do a beautiful job of it,” I say.

“It’s one of those things you learn over time. After the first iteration of Jabberwocky, I found out a few things.”

I lean over and open the cage, letting the little teddy bear stretch before it climbs out. For a second I think it’s about sing another one of those royalty free holiday songs but it just sighs and coos at the two of us.

“To be honest, it’s not that bad of an idea,” I say.

“What is?”

She leans forward and picks it up scritching at the belly. She smiles as it laughs.

“As far as genetically engineered pets go, you could have done much worse,” I say.

“Lucked out on that one. Phil and Lem did a good job on not, you know, creating a monster this time.”

She gets up and walks over to the windows with the teddy bear in her arms. The two stare out into the world.

“Wait. What do you mean, this time?” I ask.

“Oh, Ted. You know how it goes with them. It could have been another glowing squirrel driven mad by not being able to sleep.”  
“You knew about that?”

“It attacked a janitor. Of course I knew about it.”

After a moment’s silence, we both start laughing.

“It doesn’t have any trackers in it, does it?” I ask.

“None.”

“You were afraid I would lose it or Rose would want to keep it.”

“Those and other thoughts had occurred to me. But it was mostly it not having trackers.”

“Very practical of you.”

She smirks and turns around to leave with almost military precision. There is a pause as she gets to my door and without turning around, she leaves me with one more comment.

“It’s going to be a good Christmas this year, Ted,” she says, holding up the creature for me to see. “It’s going to be a good Christmas.”

Veronica was right. It was a good Christmas this year.

She got her living teddy bear. Phil and Lem got to hold a line and showed that they were right about something. I got to give a lot of attaboys. And everyone was home that day.

The End.

 

 


End file.
